


tmr drabbles

by tmrminewt (commodorenewt)



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 01:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3339206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commodorenewt/pseuds/tmrminewt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles for the maze runner series :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. find it in your heart to forgive me

"Do you think you could ever forgive me?" Newt asked.

Minho turned to look at him, an eyebrow quirked up. “Forgive you for what?” Minho looked away from him, to his hand that was holding something up. He wasn’t sure what it was exactly.

"Giving up, making you leave, pushing you away." Newt shrugged. "Take your pick."

Minho opened his mouth to answer but closed it again because he didn’t know what to say. He looked at the blonde, there was a small sad smile on his face making Minho’s heart ache; it was constricting painfully in his chest. Newt already knew the answer to his own question. Minho also knew the answer but he can’t say it. “I still love you.” Minho said instead of answering the question. Minho waited for Newt’s reply but before Newt could answer, Minho was already fluttering his eyes open.

It was just a dream.

_Newt wasn’t there._


	2. baby, if happiness were a currency, i'd hit rock bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _you want me here, right?_
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> **Always, Newt, always**  
> 

"Why do you keep coming here?" Minho asked the boy who was currently lying on his bed. Minho had half the mind jumping on him but he knew it was a dream. He might wake up if he accidentally hit head or something. He didn’t want to accidentally wake himself up. He wanted to be with Newt a little longer even if it was all in his shucking head. He missed him so much. "To be completely honest, it doesn’t make it any easier accepting that I’m here and you’re out there."

Newt’s gaze drifted towards him, he shrugged before pushing himself up. “I should be asking you that,” Newt told him. _You want me here, don’t you? **Always, Newt, always.**_. He held out a hand to Minho and without thinking, Minho took the hand and let himself be pulled to the bed. “I don’t want to make it any harder for you.”

Newt wrapped his arms around Minho. “It’s been, I don’t know… I can’t remember, it’s been months, I think.” Minho told him. “Thomas keeps looking at me like a wounded puppy and shuck, I keep thinking, if you’re here, you could make him feel better cause you always do.”

"Don’t think I’d be much help with him." Newt told him and there was something there that he wasn’t telling him. Newt smiled and leaned closer. He pressed his lips against Minho’s then leaned his forehead against Minho’s cheek, closing his eyes. "I can’t keep coming back here. You’re right, it doesn’t make it easy for you."

"I can’t let you go." Minho told him.

Newt pulled away and sighed. “You have to, Min. I can’t hold you back.”

"I’m here and you’re out there."

Newt shook his head and pressed a hand on Minho’s chest. “I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.” Newt made Minho look at him. “Would it help to tell you I’m fine? I’m happy?”

"How would you shucking know?" Minho asked, "You’re in my head. You’re the thing my head created. You’re the Newt in _my_ head.”

Newt was quiet for a moment before sighing heavily. “I’m not happy,” Newt said quietly. “But I’m free, Min. Free.” Minho’s eyebrows furrowed, what did that mean? He opened his mouth to ask but Newt shook his head. “Time to wake up.”

Minho wanted to say no, because he felt like it was a goodbye. It felt like he was back in the crank palace and Newt was threatening to shoot him if he didn’t leave. _I want you to be free too_. He didn’t know why those words stuck in his head. From what he can remember, Newt didn’t even say that. _What’s the use of being free, Newt, if you weren’t here? I won’t be happy. I’m not happy._


	3. i don't think this will last but you're here in my arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lines always seemed to blur when it came to _him_. Everyone knew he loved him. Minho loved him more than anyone in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >  
>> 
>> a military minewt au. I don't know. this started when amazerunners recommended Sam Smith's song titled Nirvana. Major Character Death.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> Let's pretend that Sonya has a brother, yeah? Okay, I'm rambling, sorry.  
> 

Sonya saw him before he could get the thought of being there sink in his mind. It’s been more than a week since it happened. It both felt too soon and yet too long. He honestly still expected to have someone smack the back of his head and call him a ‘slinthead’ with as much affection and fondness the boy can muster in him.

But being there, seeing Sonya now, it reminded Minho that he wasn't the only one who felt so much pain in this situation. Minho couldn’t possibly know what Sonya was feeling. He was her _brother_ (her only family since their parents cared more about their military careers than them. But as expected they were there because they weren’t _that_ heartless). Minho wouldn’t know what to do if it was his own brother that died. Sonya hugged him, her arms tight around him.

While waiting when the funeral was, Minho’s mind wouldn’t stop thinking… They were in the same squad. A lot of trust was there. They were all friends, close friends, brothers. They were a family. But the lines always seemed to blur when it came to _him._ Everyone knew he loved him. Minho loved him more than anyone in the world. “Minho, do you mind saying a few words later?” The question snapped him out of his thoughts and made him look at Sonya.

"I wouldn’t know what to say." Minho told her. Sonya just smiled and nodded, understanding that it would be hard for him. She turned on her heel but he grabs her wrist, pulling her back. "But I guess... no, I wouldn't mind."

Sonya smiled a little more real than a few moments before but it didn’t reach her eyes. It wasn’t as real like the few times he’s seen her smile before. “No one really knew him like you and Thomas do, did. I’d like to hear someone say something bad about him at least once today.” Sonya said, trying to make a joke but it came short. “Make him real, not a saint like some of these sticks will.” Sonya touched his arm, giving it a squeeze before heading in the direction of another group of people.

Minho walked inside and immediately saw Thomas, Fry, Gally and Zart near the edge of the room, far from where the casket was. “Minho!” Thomas called, drawing the attention of a group of old ladies near them. Gally smacked him in the back of the head. “Sorry.” Thomas said sheepishly.

Minho rolled his eyes, walking over to them. Thomas clapped a hand on his shoulder, he looked wrecked. He suspected he looked the same or maybe worse. “Hey, man.” Fry said. Gally hugged him and Minho didn’t really know what else to do but hug him back. “How you’ve been?”

Minho didn’t know how to answer that. “I’ve been dealing.” Minho said, shrugging. _How do you think?_ “How you shanks doing?” Minho asked, looking at the rest of their squad.

“I’m half expecting him to barge in and start barking out orders.” Zart said quietly when a few moments of silence passed. Minho took a deep breath, looking up with his eyes because he did not want to cry. He was expecting the same thing. “Still can’t believe he’s gone.”

"But he is." Aris said bluntly, appearing next to Thomas. All of their eyes darted in his directions. Thomas opened his mouth to say something but Minho was already grabbing the front of his uniform, his knuckles already white. "What the fuck, Minho, let go!"

Minho didn’t even know why he was so mad. Aris was just telling the truth. They needed to accept that he was gone, he was dead. Then again, it was Aris. There were eyes looking to them, how embarrassing for young soldiers, heroes, to start fighting among themselves. But their friend is gone. They lost a part of themselves the day they lost Newt. “What’s going on here?” He heard Sonya ask someone next to him, or maybe she was directing the question at him. “You’re causing a scene!” Sonya hissed.

"Minho, let go." He heard Thomas tell him. "We all know that he is, Aris. Slim it." Minho loosened his grip on Aris, allowing Fry and Gally to make him step back. "Sorry, Sonz."

Minho spared her a glance and she was looking at them not with anger or irritation, just sadness. “I understand you lost him, but you’re not the only ones who need to accept and deal with it.” Sonya took a deep breath, looking around. Harriet and Teresa were waiting by the doors glaring at him and the others. “Can you guys sort your shit out after this instead? I want to say goodbye to my brother without having our father having to kick the lot of you out.”

Minho ran a hand through his hair, taking deep breaths. "Sorry, Sonz." Minho told her. Sonya looked at him before sighing and nodding. She turned on the heel and went back to Teresa and Harriet who was now joined by Brenda.

It felt like hours before the damn thing starts. Time was moving too slow. Their whole squad was gathered in a corner, Minho and Aris were kept as far apart as they could have them. Gally and Thomas were talking over Minho and it made him feel like a child in between his parents because he was sure that he was more mature than they were ( _he also remembers the time when he was one of the parents of their squad and Newt was his..._ Minho stopped that train of thought). He looked around the room and his eyes fell on Aris who was looking at him. Minho stared him down until the younger boy looked away. It was irrational to blame Aris for Newt’s death but he was supposed his back up but the shuck face idiot got **_knocked out_** and Newt had to go back and save him. It was irrational because it wasn't Aris' fault.

> They’ve been trying to figure out how to deactivate the bloody bomb for what felt like hours or maybe even forever. Newt was getting tired of standing. “You bloody shanks need to get out of here.” Newt said, doing his best not to move. His bad leg was getting to him. He didn’t know how long he can hold his position. “My bloody leg is already bothering me. Go!”
> 
> "We’re not leaving you." Thomas told him. "We can still deactivate the bomb!"
> 
> "You shanks really want to risk that?" Newt asked, anger shaking his voice. "I’m not, I _**won't**_! LEAVE!"
> 
> "I’m not leaving you behind, Newt." Minho said fiercely. "You **_can’t_** make me.”
> 
> " ** _Bloody_** shuckface idiots!" Newt spat. "I SAID LEAVE!"
> 
> "WE’RE NOT LEAVING YOU!" Minho glared at Newt, making the latter flinch a little. "Fuck you, if you’re going to make me leave you behind."
> 
> It was all a blur after that. The next clear thing he remembered, they were outside. Newt was hanging off him, swearing. He was telling him how much a bloody idiot Minho was for risking his own life. _'What would have happened if you got blown up, bloody shank?_ **He remembered getting Newt out of there**. He remembered smiling brightly at the blonde, it wasn't supposed to end then. 

Everyone said so many good things about Newt. No one said anything bad about him. No one mentioned how short tempered he was, how much of a dick he can be if he's pissed or that he tried to kill himself a few years before. No one should because he was dead and no one should speak ill of the dead. But hearing the eulogies, it just made Newt into some kind of doll that the world cast to be a good guy and got shucked because he was too noble for his own good. And maybe he was.

Thomas was up. He walked over to the podium, he looked like the kid that walked in their bunk, and instantly caught Newt's eye. They became instant best friends. Thomas was talking about how Newt was the first person who ever called him 'Tommy' that didn't get a death glare and a knife in the neck (but really, no one has ever tried before because no one got close enough to ever be in the 'call you by a nickname I thought off' stage with him). It was the first time that a smile made him feel like everything was going to be alright. That was the effect of Newt's smile on all of them. Thomas didn't have anything bad to say, none of them do because Newt was a shucking **_saint_** and he deserved so much more than what he got.

Minho stood at the podium, staring at the casket. He wanted to say the right words but what were the right words? He could feel all their eyes on him. ** _What am I supposed to say, Newt?_** "In our squad, Newt was the heart, our heart. We often called him 'The Glue' because he keeps us together, he keeps us going. Or that was what Thomas told him why we chose that as his title when we all got our tattoos." Minho started. He didn't want to say 'kept' but he should because Newt was gone. Thomas gave him a watery smile. "Losing him, it's more than losing an arm or a leg." _I wish I lost that instead, Newt, but no, I lost a lot more, I lost you._ Minho took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. "He deserved more than to die in a battlefield. He deserved to find happiness, grow old. He deserved a full life, he didn't deserve to get killed by a kid who barely understood why we're in a war. No one deserves that. The kid doesn't deserve Newt's blood on his hands... They both deserved so much more than that."


	4. happiest memory

"What’s your happiest memory in the Glade?" Newt asked, looking over at Minho. Minho looked at him, his eyebrow arching in question. "Oh come on, there has to be one."

Minho tore the bread in half, handing Newt one of it, before taking a sip of water or was it wine? “We were miserable there, most especially you, you hated that place.”

Newt scrunched his nose up and shrugged. “Not everything about it.” Newt told him. “I didn’t hate you.”

"Yes, well, we always did try to make you like us." Minho rolled his eyes.

Newt opened his mouth but settled on swatting his arm. “You haven’t answered my question.”

"My happiest memories were coming back from the maze, coming home to you." Minho told him. He felt the questioning gaze of Newt on him, making him sigh. "Cause even though I haven’t brought you back a way out yet, for a second, when you see me running past the doors, it felt like it was enough that I came back." Newt’s gaze lifted and Minho glanced when he stayed quiet. "What’s yours?"

"Hmm?"

"What’s your happiest memory?" Minho asked.

"Besides getting out of there?" Newt asked. Minho frowned at him because he wanted a real answer. Newt began tapping his fingers against his knee. "All my happiest memories were with you."

"That’s not an answer." Minho scowled at him. Newt scoffed. "Alright, why?"

"Because although the ache was still there, you dull it." Newt answered. "All of you, Alby, Zart, Chuck… Fry, Winston, even Gally, crazy as he was, but you most especially, made it easier to live with it."

Minho reached out to take Newt’s hand in his because he can do it here. “Is it easier to live with now?”

Newt just smiled and cupped his cheek, making him close his eyes and lean into it. Minho opened his eyes, and Newt was gone. He was lying on his bed, the rays of the sun lighting the room.


	5. there's really nothing anyone can say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > a little bit of fluff? a whole lot of angst… 
>> 
>> _Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say._  
>  \- Mitch Albom
>> 
>> title from Let it hurt by Rascal Flatt's

Thomas had been afraid of closing his eyes ever since they came to Paradise, because whenever he did, Newt was there, begging him to put a bullet in his head. Thomas’ hand held the pistol and without even thinking he pulled the trigger after hearing Newt say, ‘please, Tommy, please’. He would often gasp for air, as he awoke. Minho would be looming over him, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. “I’m fine.” He would often tell his best friend. “Bad dream.”

"You were crying out for him." Minho said quietly. Thomas didn’t have to ask who ‘him’ was, Thomas had an idea. Minho often cried for ‘him’ too. He didn’t yell it out, just a soft whimper of his name and a hand outstretching to grasp at something or someone disappearing before him.

Thomas looked at his hands, biting his bottom lip to keep from talking. Minho claps a hand on his shoulder before walking back to his bed. Thomas watched as Minho lied there quietly, he didn’t know the depth of Minho and Newt’s relationship, all he knew was that it was deeper, deeper than whatever connection he had with either of them. Their love far… from what they feel for others.

Thomas drifted back to sleep after a few moments, he opened his eyes and he was on a beach. It was a beautiful day, a bitter voice in his mind told him that it was another nightmare, he wanted to tell the the voice to shut up but a hand gripped his shoulder, whirling him around. It was a familiar sensation, making Thomas’ insides grow cold. Thomas closed his eyes because he can’t bear to look at another version of Crank Newt. He couldn’t. He had to remember the Newt he loved, the Newt Minho loved. He crouched down and covered his ears, blocking out the call of ‘Tommy’. He wanted to wake up.

Hands gripped his wrists, gentle but firm. It was strong enough to move one of his hands away from his ear a little. “It’s me, Tommy.” Newt whispered. “It’s really me.” Newt let go of his hands and he heard a thump on the ground in front of of him.

Thomas didn’t want to believe him but there was something in this Newt’s voice that made Thomas look up. The Newt in front of him was clean, he looked better, even better than the healthy Newt he remembered. He had his long hair tied in a pony tail, and he also looked like he was ready to spend a day in a beach. “Newt?”

Newt smiled sadly and reached out to stroke his face with a finger. “I don’t know if I should bloody apologize or thank you first.” Newt told him honestly. He gripped his shoulder and smiled. “A part of me did hate you.” Newt said, and Thomas’ face scrunched up and the tears he hadn’t let anyone see poured out. He crumpled down and dropped his weight in his dead best friend’s body. “But not because of the bloody maze or the klunk about saving the bugging world.” Newt said, wrapping his arms around Thomas. “I loved you, Tommy, I hated you a little because you didn’t read the bugging note.”

"I didn’t know when the right time was." Thomas sobbed. "I’m sorry, I’m so sorry."

Newt sighed and tightened his arms around the younger boy. “You weren’t supposed to see me a crank. Not as bad as you did.” Newt told him quietly. “I never wanted you to see it, not you, not Minho. It hurt seeing you see me that way.”

Thomas sniffed and he wanted to hit himself because he couldn’t stop crying. He wiped his eyes and took even breaths. He listened to his and Newt’s synchronised breathing. It was music to his ears. “I keep dreaming you dying.”

"I know." Newt said, his tone sympathetic. "I’m sorry."

"I wish you were still there." Thomas whispered quietly. "Minho hasn’t been the same."

"But I’m not." Newt told him gently. Newt gently pushed him away, looking him straight in the eye. "Take care of him, will you?" Newt asked, smiling sadly. "Remind the slinthead I love him and I don’t like seeing that he’s been acting like a shank with klunk for brains."

"He won’t listen to me, y’know." Thomas sniffed, "Don’t go."

Newt chuckled and shrugged. “Make ‘im. Tell him I love him. Remind him.”

"Why does it feel like I’m losing you over again?" Thomas asked, clenching his fists around Newt’s shirt. He didn’t want to let go.

Newt kissed his forehead before leaning his forehead against Thomas’. “You never did, Tommy.” He pressed a hand on Thomas’ chest. “I’ll always be here, yeah? I’ll always be with you.”

"I don’t want you to go." Thomas said desperately. "I need you here. We need you here."

"And you’ll always have me here." Newt whispered. "Take care of Minho, Tommy. Remind him, I love him, I’ll always bugging love him."

"It won’t be enough." Thomas was crying again. "It’s not the same."

"We’ll be together again soon." Newt kissed his forehead again. "Not too soon though. Don’t be too excited to get to me, okay?"


	6. Chapter 6

_ Newt _

Thomas told me he killed you last night.

I… A part of me knew, I think because something clicked in my mind.

You would have laughed at how dramatic it was. I kept pushing him to do something, pushing to look for you, pushing to find, come up with a cure because we’re supposed to be special, aren’t we? We’re supposed to be geniuses. He might have gotten tired of hearing me say it, because he yelled at me. He yelled ‘there’s nothing to look for, Minho, he’s dead! I killed him’. I almost killed for saying you were dead. You can’t imagine how I felt… feel when the rest of it sunk in.

I can’t forgive him, Newt. I can’t.


	7. memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> or alternatively “who are you” “so this is gonna sound really weird right now but i made a deal to save your life but at the cost of all of your memories of us together and i’m acting like i’m not bothered but i’m dying inside” au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_warning:_** death cure spoilers

"So do we know each other?" Newt asked, looking at Minho with a frown on his face. His face practically asking _'Have we met before?'_. "You look very familiar..."

"Uhh, we are friends." Minho took a deep breath, plastering a smirk on his face. _He can't remember us, me._ "Minho." Minho told him.

"Oh, do you know where I... I mean, we are?" Newt asked.

His question was met with silence. Thomas looked in between them, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, we're in paradise." Thomas answered..

Newt turned to Thomas, his face screaming confusion. "I'm sorry, where?" Newt repeated, "You said Paradise?"

"You're in Paradise, shank."

"I'm dead?" Newt asked in a small voice, looking at Thomas then at Minho.

"You're alive." Minho answered. _You came so close to dying though._ "This place is called Paradise."

\---

It's been a week since they arrived at Paradise practically dragging Newt behind them.

Its been 6 days since Newt told them that they were stubborn selfish shuckfaces for not doing what he asked.

It's been 6 days since he intentionally tried to hurt them.

It's been 5 days since the scientists came to them for a viable cure for the flare.

It's been 4 days since they decided to try the cure.

It's been 2 days since Newt first opened his eyes and the scientists gave themselves a pat on the back because holy fuck, they've found the cure they've been trying to find for years.

It's been 2 days since they realised that saving Newt came with a price.

Memories of the time they spent together in the Glade, Memories of the fallen friends, Alby, Chuck, Zart, Clint, Jeff... No memory of the Glade... No more traces of WICKED. Maybe that was a good thing that he didn't remember.

Minho doesn't regret their choice. Given another chance to choose, he'd pick it again even with the knowledge of his friend forgetting everything they've shared. It's a small price to pay. They can make more memories.

\---

Newt woke up in the middle of the night and found Minho and Thomas by his bed. Minho was closest to him, his hand on the bed gripping the sheets. Newt instinctively slipped his hand in Minho's, squeezing it lightly. Minho tangled their fingers together, pulling their hands closer to him. It seemed so natural. "I don't think you were just my friend." Newt said quietly.

They told him that he lost his memories due to a surgery he needed to undergo. He would die if he didn't go through with it.

"I think I loved you."


End file.
